What is Wrong With Me?!

In Life, Personal, Rant on August 1, 2011 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , , , ,

Here, God presented me of a very charming Indian guy. He’s smart, funny, selfless, generous, driven and kind. This same guy happened to express his affection to me as well.

And although I know I really like him despite our different races and the fact that I actually dislike the Indian population (but I still dated an Indian guy afterall, WTH!), why am I so hesitant to bring our relationship to the next level? I don’t want him to be my boyfriend but I always want to see him and be with him and talk to him and flirt with him and I just don’t know anymore….

Sometimes I am starting to think that maybe I’m just afraid of commitments. Or that I’m just not made for it. He wanted us to be together but I’m the only one who always refuses, when the ‘statement’ is the only thing missing for us to be official. I don’t know. I’m dumb. I mean, what woman wouldn’t want a serious commitment from a guy she likes? It’s only me who really doesn’t want to get involved. *sigh*

We’ll see until when I can keep this up. And while dating him, I just want to always tell myself that sometimes, some stuff I do are not, in any way, a mortal sin. Just that the feeling is foreign to me. No use feeling guilty about it or punishing myself for it. Because it’s a natural instinct. Lilly taught me that. And it’s true. So basically, just live life to the fullest!!!

– – –

Fast Fact:
I think i have mentioned it before.. Whatever.. But when I was a child, I have a major crush on Simba. I really find him handsome! And he’s a lion… Okay, weird is weird D:

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