Wasted Effort.

In Everyday, Life, Personal, Rant on July 6, 2012 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , , , , , , ,

This post contains explicit language, LOTS OF IT. Read at your own risk.


Again, I was left feeling so disappointed and miserable. I don’t feel like I’m making a big deal out of it anymore because I REALLY do feel betrayed.

I may look like I don’t take things seriously at school because of my happy-go-lucky personality and I’m always so hyper and stuff talking about fandom but when it comes to school, I am very diligent.

I make it a point to put 110% of my everything in order to finish all of our requirements and I always do things on time. I even get outside sources to help me understand stuff that always misleads me. I mean, I really take things seriously!!! Without a doubt!!! I never do anything so half heartedly since the start of this fucking term.

And then here comes the time we get our  midterm grades and stuff and fuck, one of my prof, this bitch, gave me a grade of 77?!!!!??!!?!!!?!?!!????? For something so stupid, too!!! It’s so fucking upsetting!!!!

I’ll be more than humbled to take it if I DID deserve it but I believe I DO NOT!!! Especially when I did it so seriously, too! Even did some researches and stuff. And ugh! That fucking low grade is like a bad curse I so badly want to cast away from my very sight!!!! That grade practically screams failure right in front of my beautiful and godly face! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!

And even for my website designs, Bitch couldn’t even give me a higher mark because I didn’t add a sub-navigation for my design when it’s common sense that OF COURSE, it’ll be included in the real thing. It’s the design she wants anyway. To print the design of the website we want to put up. And she’s asking for all these pointless stuff like sub navigations to be included?! It’s not visually pleasing. And something like that, I could be explained in 2 seconds. All I needed to say was ‘it’s a drop down sub navigation‘ but she went ahead and deducted so much from my Project Documentation Grade. Such fuckery!!!! I might as well have given her a psd file in the very beginning if that fucking sub navigation is all she wanted to see. Ugh!!! So retarded!

Ugh, it’s so stupid that I don’t even know how to explain it, honestly!

And also for my Illust class. I know I should’ve moved on after our prof gave me a grade of 90 (my lowest) and anyway, I’ve had my share of rants on Tumblr regarding this topic but when I look at my work and the works of my other classmates, it’s just super irritating that a messy artwork gets a more decent grade than I do!!!! Hello, I spend so much time drawing the plates, conceptualizing, coloring….. And a messy sunset picture that looks like this, but UGLIER, gets a hundred (something a grade schooler would draw, literally. And it sucks coz I’m not even kidding)

While I draw something like this?!

Oh gawd. I know it’s not perfect but you can see the difference right? You can tell right away who exerted more effort! I mean, I can’t even get even a little credit for that? *fume*

I don’t even know where to begin or end this ranting… Even my Photoshop teacher is so stingy when it comes to giving us grades… I may not be the best in photoshop but I am more skilled than most of them but still…..!

I know it’s so immature of me to be spitting these hateful stuff this way. Especially when I should just move on and accept whatever grades I supposedly deserve but it’s so hard for me to just digest it when I know it could’ve been different… Better. My midterm grade is at stake, you know! I don’t feel like wasting 40K and flunking each and every subject I have when clearly, I don’t deserve this shit to begin with. Ugh!

I feel so betrayed.

I know I shouldn’t get discouraged but slowly it’s really getting to me :c And I hate it. Ugh…

I guess when I finally feel that I’m getting the grades I TRULY DESERVE, I’ll be able to gain my confidence back… Ugh…

Please, please… Make me feel that all my effort is paying off….

– – –

Fast Fact:
I like the smell if apples :3

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