Articles

Excuses

In Fandom, Music on February 24, 2013 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , , , , , ,

Excuses copy

BoA arrived at the restaurant before everybody else did. She held her purse close to her and was directed to the private room where they made the reservation for this intimate dinner.

As she was about to turn a corner, a hand held her arm. She spun around and saw Yunho grinning at her. His hair was short again, and for today, he’s wearing the shirt she gave him during his birthday a month ago. Coincidentally, she was also wearing the necklace he gave her last Christmas. Yunho noticed secretly, putting a smile on his face.

‘Heard anything from the others yet?’ Yunho asked as he matched BoA’s pace. Soon enough, they reached the room. He helped BoA to her seat as he sat across her from the table.

‘Yeonhee said she’s on her way. What about Changmin? I thought he’ll be with you?’

The young man scratched his head. ‘Uh, we got into a petty fight last night…’ He shrugged.

BoA chuckled. ‘But that didn’t stop you from coming today?’

‘Well… I wanted to eat good food…’

‘Ah, you’re something else,’ BoA mumbled giving up.

A few moments passed by in silence. The two stole glances from each other as they pretended to be busy with their own mobile phones. A few minutes more, Yeonhee arrived and was surprised to see the two already seated together comfortably.

‘Am I in the right room or did I just walk in on a date, uninvited?’ Yeonhee gasped, putting both of her hands on top of her mouth as an added dramatic effect, just like a real actress that she is.

‘Silly, what are you even talking about? Come here and take a seat beside me,’ BoA said dryly gesturing for her to settle on her right. Yeonhee grinned before approaching the other two.

‘Ah, guess we’re still waiting for Changmin oppa? You didn’t come together with him?’

Yunho shook his head and explained how they got into a small fight. Apparently, the older man accidentally ate Changmin’s chips. That made the maknae upset and the reason why he’s not talking to his hyung since last night. To not aggravate him further, Yunho decided to come alone today instead of sticking with him.

‘But don’t worry, I know exactly how to make it up to him so don’t feel that it’s weird for me to be here, okay?’

‘Yeah… It’s not like he has anybody else to invite anyway…’ BoA mumbled to herself but not soft enough for them not to hear. Yunho closed his mouth into a tight line and had his shoulders droop low. Junsu, Yoochun and especially Jaejoong were now detached from their family. Who else was there to celebrate together with Changmin but himself. It was more than clear to Yunho that Jaejoong’s absence, for more than a year now, has been the greatest distress for BoA as of late. It seemed like it was more tormenting for her than to them who were Jaejoong’s actual band mates.

‘I’m late!’ Changmin announced breaking the gloomy aura from before. ‘Ah, you’re also here hyung…’ The younger man commented unhappily when he noticed Yunho’s presence.

‘Stop sulking already. I’ll pay for dinner to make it up to you. Make sure to eat a lot of food tonight, okay?’ The mention of food washed away Changmin’s annoyance from their little fight automatically.  He happily walked across the room and sat beside his hyung. He grabbed the menu and merrily read the list of dishes at his disposal.

‘And he’s supposed to be an adult by now, but look at him act like a kid,’ BoA whispered, snickering to her bestfriend.

There was a generous amount of food that came after sometime. There were even two bottles of wine. Changmin definitely didn’t hold back. Yunho just smiled all throughout since they were gathered together to celebrate their friends’ successful drama. Paradise Ranch just aired their last episode the other day and as a congratulatory event for the two main, BoA set up this dinner.

They shared a few more chats in between meals, laughing here and there. ‘But seriously though, when I saw the both of you earlier, I thought you were on a date,’ Yeonhee narrated.

‘Again, that’s being absurd. Why would you even say that?’

Yeonhee thought for a while. ‘I don’t know, you just really look good together. And you two are even wearing the same shade of blue, like an allusion to couple shirts.’ Yunho and BoA looked at what they’re wearing and then looked at each other in utter shock. ‘See? Wouldn’t you say telepathy?’

Yunho just let out a forced laugh.

‘And Yeonhee, I’m not sure if you know this but BoA noona is even wearing the necklace hyung got for her.’

Yeonhee widened her eyes and beamed at the woman beside her. She noticed the heart pendant dangling on her neck immediately. Little diamonds sparkled against the light. For some reason this made BoA blush.

‘Unnie never told me about that!’ Yeonhee excalimed as she marveled at it some more. ‘She actually wears it a lot, too!

‘I do not!’ BoA protested. She could feel her whole face burn because Yeonhee merely said the truth she could never ever admit in front of this man. ‘It just matched my dress so I’m wearing it today.’

Excuses. 

Yeonhee scoffed at her bestfriend’s lame retort.

‘To be quite honest, I’ve always thought you two look good together,’ Changmin chimed in. He looked between Yunho and BoA, waiting how they will react. The older man coughed, a bit agitated as BoA squirmed on her seat uncomfortably. She pretended to be engrossed with her food and started devouring everything on her plate without actually tasting it.

‘More like, I look good. I know I’m a handsome man,’ Yunho butted in, in the hopes of improving the already awkward atmosphere. Everyone ignored him.

Yeonhee took this opportunity to push the topic further. ‘Unnie always tells me she likes tall and handsome guys. Preferably someone more wealthy or at least on the same level as she.’ As an afterthought, she added, ‘She likes it if he’s gentle and very considerate about her work. Someone caring but at the same time strong and very manly. It would be a plus if they are also musically inclined.’

‘True, I won’t lie. I did say that. But then what’s your point?’

Changmin raised his hand. The three looked at him with anticipation, Yeonhee, being the one most excited about Changmin’s words of wisdom. ‘The point is, doesn’t it sound very much like a perfect description of hyung, though?’

Yeonhee smiled at Changmin’s observation but BoA gasped as those words came out his lips. Now that she’s hearing it from someone else, it’s slowly making sense where they were getting all these connections. She was speechless, unable to process everything.

‘And if it’s gonna help the situation, hyung always says he likes strong willed girls. Someone who is full of aegyo but at the same time tenacious enough to tame him down.’

‘Excuse me Changmin, I’m not like that!’ BoA snapped.

‘And excuse me noona, but I never said I was referring to you particularly,’ he grinned evilly making the other woman panic with her own carelessness. ‘But thank you for admitting to it quite easily. I do think you fit that description well–‘

‘Stop it Changmin.’ Yunho’s voice was cold and unforgiving. He shot Changmin a warning stare and that alone made him shiver from fear. Without meaning to, the younger man stepped on a dangerous territory and he felt that his presence was never welcome in there.

BoA let out a long sigh. She wanted this conversation to end already. ‘Anyway, I’m through with dating a celebrity and won’t be doing so in the future either. It’s just so difficult to hide. You should all agree to it.’

Excuses. 

Nobody said anything for a while.

‘And that may be true Changmin, about my ideal girlfriend, but you forgot to add that I really want them tall and slender rather than short and petite.’

Excuses. 

BoA glared at him from across the table. ‘Well I’m sorry for being born short!’ Ever since, being short has been her complex and hearing it coming directly from Yunho as an insult, stings. Like blatantly telling her there’s no way she’ll ever be his ideal girlfriend. ‘I wouldn’t want to stand alongside you anyway, just so you know.’

Excuses. 

‘Why are you being so whiny? I don’t like whiny girls. It’s totally unattractive.’

Excuses. 

Enraged, BoA stood up from her seat and stormed out of the room. ‘Don’t follow me!’ she scowled before completely disappearing behind the doors. She was so infuriated that she needed to get out if she wanted to clear her mind. It wasn’t a smart idea to face Yunho when she’s so livid.

The room was eerily quiet when BoA left. Even Changmin couldn’t eat his food anymore. The silence engulfed the three, as if it stretched through eternity.

‘I… I think I should follow unnie,’ Yeonhee mumbled worriedly, guilty that she started this whole mess. If only she had kept her mouth shut, things wouldn’t escalate for the worst. It wasn’t her intention but the damage was already done and she needed to fix it.

She was about to stand up from her seat when Yunho’s phone started ringing. He picked it up, distracting Yeonhee’s earlier attempt to follow BoA outside.

‘Yes manager hyung. Yes… Yes. Actually can you hold on for a sec?’ Yunho held his hand up and faced Yeonhee. ‘Stay here, don’t leave Changmin.’

With a few long strides, he reached the door and disappeared. Yeonhee tried to relax but it was obvious how much she’s still worrying about her friend.

‘Is he going to follow unnie?’

Changmin bit his lip and casted his head low. ‘I don’t know… Sometimes, he could be prideful… And noona isn’t the type who wanted comforting when she’s upset.’ He explained. ‘Plus, it seemed like an urgent call from our manager that he needed to attend to.’

‘But what about unnie? If there’s somebody who could calm her down, it’s definitely Yunho oppa… Oppa knows her best!’ Yeonhee’s voice was almost pleading. ‘Shouldn’t he be more worried about unnie than whatever it is your manager needed?!’

‘True. And I agree. Eversince, Yunho’s always the first one to comfort her. But… Noona’s upset over Yunho…’ Changmin trailed off. He didn’t need to explain further for Yeonhee to understand. ‘And when it comes to work, hyung is always serious about getting things done first. If he would have to choose between them right now, I’m afraid he would most probably choose work over her…’

‘How unfair…’

And as the two were stressing over the unfortunate turn of events, BoA was at the bathroom, agonizing by herself. She locked herself inside one of the cubicles and sat on the toilet, her hands on her temples clearly full of anguish.

‘Stupid, stupid! Yunho, you’re so stupid!’ She cursed under her breath as she recalled their previous conversation. It wasn’t her intention to lash at him, especially over a trivial stuff, like him nitpicking over her height. But her mind was already clouded by several distracting thoughts that thinking logically was impossible at the very start.

‘But he didn’t have to insinuate the fact that I was so whiny and unattractive…’ That was one comment she kept on thinking over and over again. It was hurtful. Yunho didn’t realize how much it had affected her.

Sighing, she picked herself together and got out from her confinements. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw how miserable she appeared. She tried to smile but nothing changed. She fixed her hair and even put some powder on. It didn’t fix her terrible feelings inside but at least it didn’t show on her face anymore.

She fished her purse, looking for her mobile phone so she could tell Yeonhee she’ll be leaving, when she realized she left it on the dining table earlier.

‘Can it seriously get any worse than this?’ She half shrieked, stomping her foot repeatedly out of frustration.

Without any other choice, she got out of the bathroom, on her way to fetch her phone. She was ready to suck in her pride and was about to go in to face everybody, when she heard the exchange of words between Changmin and her bestfried accidentally.

‘The problem isn’t one sided though. Both of them are obviously pushing each other away,’ Changmin continued quietly. Yeonhee nodded her head in agreement as she looked away. ‘And instead of making each other happy, they keep on coming up with all these silly ways where they can draw the line and evade any circumstances that can bring them together.’

‘An excuse.’

Losing all her confidence, she took a step back, and another in an attempt to escape. But as she was about to spin around, she bumped into something — someone.

‘Yunho?!’

The man before her didn’t say anything and merely looked at her with melancholic eyes.

‘How long have you… Did you hear everything..?’ BoA was afraid to hear his answer. There was a secret she was trying to protect and she was willing to put her life on the line just so she could hide it forever.

But without her realizing, she was found out. How was she supposed to face everybody when her inner thoughts were already out in the open. She couldn’t face them… She couldn’t face him.

BoA waited patiently. Each second added an extra grip on her chest. She almost couldn’t breath when Yunho confirmed her suspicions.

‘I… did.’

Her legs nearly gave in. She leaned on the wall and wallowed on her demise. Despite the chaos in her heart, she had to cover up her own weaknesses. She would bury herself deeper, casting herself away from the love she yearns for.

And Yunho, contemplating the same thing.

‘That’s such a silly thing to say, about the both of us,’ BoA began, her voice a bit shaky from all the lies she’s going to say from now on. ‘I mean, I’m not trying to push you away…’

But I want you close. So much closer…

‘You’re right. Our friendship isn’t that shallow. We know each other best.’

But I want a deeper friendship with you beyond what we have right now… 

‘Anything more than that would be nothing but complications.’

Still, that doesn’t stop me from wanting you…

‘And of course we wouldn’t want that when we’re perfect this way.’

No. We are perfect when we’re together…

There was a short silence that followed, for the biggest excuse they have are those that they don’t even want to acknowledge. Those words that will be forever trapped in their hearts.

‘That’s why let’s promise to always be together as friends…’

Because you are still in love with Jaejoong. 

‘Of course Yundol, we’ll be bestfriends forever.’

Because you will never ever see me more than your bestfriend.

And they stared at each other’s eyes, completely oblivious from the truth of their heart’s desires. Neither of them wanted to take a step, afraid for everything to fall apart when that same step could’ve built their future together.

And like a dying candle, the two dwindled away, forever lost in the dark.

 

The two, losing their forever…

 

END.

– – –

Wow, a sudden angsty fic? HAHA!

I needed a break from writing “Dangerous Territory” so I chose to write a different story from one of the prompts on my list. I think this flowed really well but the thing is, would the readers read this story as it was intended?

*sigh*

Well, it was worth the shot.

And yesh, the use of Dangerous Territory and Heart’s Desire so blatantly in the story was intentional coz you know… I gotta promote my other stuff. Hihi!

image and story (c) lexie-chan || eyes2blues

– – –

100 Themes Challenge Writing Prompts: Excuses

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5 Responses to “Excuses”

  1. […] Death 10. Opportunities 11. 33% 12. Dead Wrong 13. Running Away 14. Judgment 15. Seeking Solace 16. Excuses 17. Vengeance 18. Love 19. Tears 20. My Inspiration 21. Never Again 22. Online 23. Failure 24. […]

  2. Such a sad ending 😥 Btw the ff was really great 🙂

  3. It’s so sad……………………….. :((((((( lexie whyy T___T i hope this isn’t what’s happening in real life, yknow. Like goshhhh can they just break through that line they’ve drawn without realizing? They could be the most perfect couple ever if only they gave a chance to it! ><

    • I know… It is really sad… But for the first time, this was intentional! Still, it breaks my heart </3

      Don't worry, the next one shot is a bit better. At least it's not angsty anymore :3

      Thanks for reading!

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