Articles

Challenged

In Fandom, Music on July 20, 2013 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , , , , ,

challenged

It was a stressful period for the both of them. After the break up, they were supposed to come out to the general public as a duo, instead of a five-member-group under TVXQ.

It was stressful because there’s always this burden of always proving themselves that they can live up to their name over and over again.

As if Yunho doesn’t have a lot on his mind already as it is. Because he was the leader. He was supposed to keep them all together.

But then he failed at that…

The blow it caused him was unimaginable. Not even to Changmin who had gone through the same ordeal.

‘Hyung, you can’t always be on a slump. Sooner or later, we would have to face them, all of them!’ Changmin yelled as he paced in front of him frantically.

Yunho deliberately ignored him and pretended to be engrossed, watching the TV when in reality, he can’t even see or hear anything.

In a couple of months, they were scheduled to perform in LA for their 2010 SM Town World Tour. It’s a whole different milestone for the two but Yunho didn’t exhibit any form of enthusiasm about it. It frustrated Changmin so bad that this argument even happened in the first place.

‘Are you even listening?!’ Changmin bellowed irritatingly, glaring at the man in front of him.

Yunho gave him a side glance and then went back to watching his hockey game. Enraged, Changmin walked towards him and shoved his shoulder hoping that it would illicit some kind of reaction from him — anything.

The leader closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Without warning, he slammed his hands against the table in front of him and stormed outside their dorm without a care even if Changmin was still talking to him.

He just wanted to disappear and run away from all of this.

And so, Yunho went straight for his car and drove aimlessly around Seoul. He needed time to clear his head. Being with Changmin only aggravated him. Not because his duo was nagging him so much, but because he couldn’t motivate himself to get up from this pit when Changmin’s coping steadily from the whole fiasco already.

‘Dammit!’ He screeched, slamming his hands against the stirring wheel this time, as he turned the car around. He continued driving until he reached the outskirts of Seoul. Before he knows it, he was already parking his car in front of his private apartment. It was his secret place BoA personally picked up for him. It’s a place where Yunho can spend his time alone, by himself. Apart from BoA who helped him find this quiet place, nobody else knew of its existence. Not even Changmin nor his family.

‘No wonder I instinctively drove to this place,’ he sighed as he walked inside, a smile finally gracing his face. This place often gives him a peace of mind, just what he needed right now.

Yunho hasn’t been there for weeks, probably in months, that’s why when he finally visited his apartment, he was so surprised to find BoA already inside.

‘What the actual fu–‘ he exclaimed when he saw BoA’s brooding by herself on the couch, a few empty beer cans on the floor. Her presence in his own personal space (just when he wanted to be completely alone) gave him a heart attack and for a second, he actually regretted ever giving her the code for his place when she tricked him one day. When did she even start frequenting this placed? He thought irritatingly as he glared at her.

‘Yunnie…!’ She slurred, smiling at him. She had her arms spread out but her companion was not in the mood to play around with her. She pouted before bringing her arms to her side.

‘May I ask why you are in my apartment when you have a house of your own?’ He asked sternly sitting beside her. The smell of alcohol was bad and he had to make a mental note to charge her when he get this place cleaned.

BoA remained quiet, staring at her lap blankly. After a long minute, she grabbed another can of beer and chugged from it directly. Alarmed, Yunho snatched her hand and took away the beer from her grasp. She had enough.

‘Give it back,’ she pleaded, with actual tears brimming at the corner of her eyes. This was unusual. Yunho automatically acted on the situation and picked up all of her trash to put away. BoA protested a lot but Yunho was not even close to giving in to her whims.

When he was done cleaning up, Yunho came back to sit beside BoA. He let out a long sigh and then faced her. ‘Okay, shoot. What happened?’

He was staring at her intensely, waiting patiently for her answer. And then BoA lifted her head as she started crying silently. Her shoulders trembled and a sudden jolt of anguished washed over him as well.

This was too much.

More than his hellish situation right now, the thing that he hated the most was seeing BoA hurt.

‘Don’t tell me…?’

BoA nodded her head as she suppressed more tears from streaming down her cheeks.

This was really too much.

‘He… H-he finally broke up with me…’ She choked, burying her face in the palm of her hands.

Yunho merely looked at her but an obvious disgust was painted on his face. ‘So, now what?’ He asked through gritted teeth.

‘I don’t k-know what to do… I was w-willing to sacrifice everything for him. You know that, but s-still…’

BoA tried so hard to explain everything in between sobs. How everything turned out for the worst. When everybody told her to break up with Jaejoong as soon as rumors about their group’s impending break up erupted, she listened to none of it because she knew that their love would be forever. That they’ll be able to get through with every obstacles their way — together…

But this terrible thing happened anyway. And she felt so pathetic and at loss for believing. She wanted to escape this nightmare.

‘Who cares about that when he still left you,’ he hissed completely enraged, as if he just read what was on her mind. And then he remembered why he was even there. It was also because of them he’s been going through hell himself. Because they selfishly chose to leave them behind and abandon the dream all five of them tried to achieve from the start.

And how dare Jaejoong to even drag BoA into this mess when he gave way for him.

How dare him.

‘It wasn’t my p-plan to trespass but I needed a place that isn’t filled with his memories so I just–‘

Yunho held out his hand, halting her and then smiled. They didn’t need another reason to hate him. They cannot let themselves be slaves of this unfortunate event, as everything fall apart so instead, they’ll try and work things out.

That’s what he thought and the most logical thing to do anyway.

‘What can I do to make you feel better?’ He asked, concern evident in his voice. He’ll do everything because whatever BoA wants, BoA gets on his watch.

There was a long silence after that. Their breathing started to synchronized with their heartbeat and for some reason, Yunho anticipated for her answer as if holding on to dear life.

‘Make me forget about him,’ she finally breathed in an even voice.

Yunho was initially taken aback, his eyes widening in shock. He was expecting a big favor coming from her but nothing as dangerous as this one. How was he even supposed to fulfill that? What does she even mean when those words escaped her lips?

He dug his nails on his palms as several thoughts go through his mind.

‘Make me forget about him,’ she repeated a little more forceful this time bringing his attention back to her. Her eyes narrowed on Yunho, a mocking stare as if like a challenge.

‘You’re drunk,’ he replied uneasily.

‘So what? That doesn’t erase the fact that he hurt me and I’m in this terrible pain right now,’ she spat bitterly. ‘Make me forget about him.’

Biting his lips, he was torn between choosing the rational approach to care for her and his own manly desire to have her for himself.

Because to him, BoA was more that just his bestfriend.

And then he stole another brief look of her. The way how her cheeks burned, her loose top hanging on her side exposing a good amount of her collarbone, her subtle way of brushing her hair to the side, the view of her slender neck, the way she bit her lip…

Everything about her enticed him.

He heard the pounding of his own heart and he was close to losing all his rational thinking. Not in this situation when he wanted all of her.

BoA lifted her head and made a direct eye contact with him. Her eyes were dark and inviting. She probably wouldn’t know the effect she had on him but it was intense. Yunho’s only human who can take so much and despite knowing everything was escalating this way because of the influence of alcohol, he wouldn’t, for the love of god, ever consider abandoning the challenge.

No.

He would stop being the bestfriend.



Yunho grabbed her hand and half dragged her inside the bedroom. With a bit of force, he pushed her on the bed. It struck BoA how her gentle friend, can empower her like this. She sobered up immediately and laughed nervously when proper logic kicked in.

She looked up and saw Yunho’s eyes looking back at her with burning intensity and thirst.

What was happening?

‘I’m sorry… I-I was out of my mind… I think I better go…’ BoA rambled, repeatedly fixing her loose top that kept slipping on her shoulders. She couldn’t even look at his ardent eyes still on her.

While her thoughts was in a state of chaos, Yunho leaned forward so their faces were only inches apart. BoA’s immediate response was to back away and drag herself up the bed, towards the headboard, away from him. Who would’ve thought that her means of escape only became an opportunity for Yunho to trap her underneath him.

Before she could process what was happening, BoA’s legs were already in between his. She wanted to push Yunho off her but he caught her hands and pinned it to the bed.

‘Yunho! Stop!’ She screamed.

‘What? Weren’t you the one who challenged me to make you forget about him?’

BoA was supposed to yell at him some more but then stopped. The frantic thoughts rampant in her mind vanished all at once with that one statement from him.

She closed her eyes in defeat. She was wrong for putting Yunho in this difficult situation because of her own selfishness. And to stop would be pointless.

Because she asked for this.

She wanted this.

BoA stopped squirming underneath him and he took this as an invitation for him to continue. He did without delay.

He kissed her lips — gently, passionately. She was very hesitant at first, cautious, but with an intent to go further. Their tongue slid together, and everything else stood still except for the both of them. It’s unbelievable how their  bodies yearned for each other as they blurred the line between the friendship they both built for years. BoA touched his face and his kisses became even more greedy. The way it made BoA slip a quiet moan made him smile.

Soon, he grazed her chin and neck with sweet kisses, tasting every bit of her skin he could only dream about before.

‘BoA…’ He breathed as he continued. She could feel his nervous heartbeat hammering in his chest and she wondered if he could feel hers under his touch.

But her senses was already filled by him that it didn’t matter. The way he gently held her close, the way he lovingly sighed her name. The way he left tender marks on her skin… Everything was burned into her mind, into a memory of sweet bliss.

‘Make me forget,’ she whispered to him. Yunho gave a little nod and then proceeded to taking off his shirt. She looked at every detail of his beautiful self. His sparkling eyes illuminated in the darkness. She also didn’t miss to marvel at the up and down movement of his chest that holds his heart. And then eventually her attention settled on his slender fingers carefully unbuttoning her shirt and everything else in the way.

She gasped as his hand finally touched her chest. That unfamiliar sensation from him she can’t say no to. It surprised her how her body craved for it.



Closer.



Deeper.



Their bodies melted together, moving as one as a rush of ecstasy flowed through their veins. BoA could feel sweat trickling down her temples, down her spine but she couldn’t be bothered by that when Yunho held her that way. He caressed her in ways he never did before. His careful and tender touch that kindled her soul made her crave for him so much more. To be as close to him as she could ever will.

Their rhythm became faster now. Her skin glowed in their shared heat and in between, Yunho whispered three words. Three words that made her shudder. He felt the sudden change in her and then he abruptly stopped.

He pulled himself out but making sure that he was looking at her intently. BoA couldn’t bear it so she turned her head away in shame. Yunho smiled thoughtfully and brushed her hair away from her face.

He got up, pulled some pants on before sitting on the edge of the bed. His back was against her. The room was suddenly bathed in silence and the darkness of the night engulfed the moment.

He sighed softly and closed his eyes. There was a time when he wanted to escape this miserable situation so badly and stray away from her. At the back of his mind, he wondered if he kept his distance, she would miss him in his absence. That she’ll realize his worth. But can he really bet on that when all he ever wanted was to breathe beside her? Because like air, he would die without her by his side.

It was a futile attempt from the very beginning.

There were also numerous times when he secretly wished that he could change the fate between them. Or at least stop the time for the both them. Anything as long as it was the two of them in the end.

‘You don’t have to feel sorry,’ he moaned, shifting on the bed to look at her bare back. He reached for her and BoA winced as he touched her shoulder. He knew she was crying and it pained him to see her consumed by despair.

BoA forced herself not to show her vulnerable side but the burden in her heart was too much that the only way to lighten it was to let it all out.

‘You said you wanted to forget about him,’ he whispered in the hopes that BoA would come to listen to him with an open heart. ‘I… also wanted to forget. I wanted to forget that thin line that existed between us because BoA, I love you.’

Yunho leaned forward and kissed her shoulder. BoA was finally compelled to look at him. She grabbed the white sheets closer to her as she pulled herself up.

They sat there, merely looking at each other’s eyes. His tender gaze pierced her heart in a way that reminded her just how despicable of a person she was for using him to forget about the pain Jaejoong left her. The horrible feeling drowned her. If there’s something she could do to lift up his spirit, she should do it now. But nothing comes to mind, for the man who has always been there for her.

How pathetic can she get?

‘Yunho–‘

‘I’ve realized that the real challenge was not for me to help you forget about him,’ he then said in a rush, cutting her speech. His voice sounded weak and tired. As if holding on to a thread about to snap.

BoA’s eyes bored on him. His twinkling eyes vanished and was now shrouded by shadows. She held her breath as she waited for him to continue. Every ticking of the clock, an indication of wasted time between them.

She saw him open his mouth again.

‘The challenge here was to make you realize that I’m here. I’m here and you can trust me,’ he breathed softly as he closed his eyes. ‘I’m here so please love me…’ as his voice trailed off, a tear finally crawled down his cheek.

‘Yunho…’ she sighed, a bit of hesitation in her voice.

‘You don’t have to say anything.’

BoA shook her head, determined to be heard. ‘If love truly exists, I would like to find it together with you. To feel it, to feel secured knowing that I’ll always have you by my side. But–‘ Yunho shut his eyes, knowing where this was heading. ‘I don’t want to force myself to love you… It wouldn’t be fair for you.’

Those were her honest feelings for him and despite his heart shattering into a thousand pieces, he understood. It was unfair for the both of them. About BoA not loving him sincerely enough and Yunho burdening her with guilt.

He smiled despite himself, a new found vigor streaming through his vein instead.

‘Shall I have every intention to really make you fall in love with me, then?’ He was hopeful.

BoA returned the smile, glad that at least he’s still the same bestfriend she’d known for years. Her bestfriend who knows just what to say to make her feel better.

‘Yeah, why not. But are you sure you’re up with that challenge?’

‘Ha! Challenge accepted!’ He answered in a breeze, his face brightening up. BoA felt a soaring feeling in her heart. That she was somehow glad he didn’t give up on her. That he was willing to wait. And isn’t it better to start their budding relationship the right way instead of something out of loneliness and insincerity? Out of something that they may come to regret later on?

Yunho just kept on smiling.

‘But I feel like it’s not even challenging enough for you…’ She pouted, sprinkling a little bit of humor, Yunho was readily gonna reciprocate.

‘It’s not my fault that I’m very charming,’ he chuckled. Soon, BoA joined him for a hearty laugh.

She’s beginning to think that maybe, all they ever needed was an opportunity to get closer with each other. And this is not a bad start. And she could only hope for the best as they open a new door for their future because sometimes, people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.

And then eventually — hopefully — after everything fall into place, they can finally share their own love story. Happy that in the end, they were able to go through with the challenge sincerely loving each other.

END.

– – –

I swear to god, this took forever to write. I lost track just how many times I had revised the whole thing to finally come up with this ending. LOL! I hope it didn’t seem rushed or lacking. Maybe out of place? IDK. I just want this out of my system and work on another story or possibly continue with Dangerous Territory. HAHA! So many ideas but so little time… </3

Anyway, YunBoJoong because they are obviously my favorite OT3! Hihi!!! I didn’t want to make Jaejoong a bad guy but I had to sacrifice someone to write this story. And I don’t want to look it flat. And my stubborn mentality of always injecting real life events in my stories aint helping either. I didn’t mean to offend guys, okay! Maybe someday, in the future, I’ll be able to write a real BoJoong story. Afterall, they were the first OTP in a way. HAHA!

Oh, I had several songs and theme that have inspired me. BoA’s “Over ~Across the Time~” had been very helpful. I was also reading the lyrics to one of my fave Thai song from Mario and Baifern’s movie. The song “Because of my Heart” always gives me feels…  And this:

tumblr_mpeu6lNp081sodjs6o1_500

Oh, and I’m aware that the rating for this fic needed to be raised. I’m so sorry for writing something like this but I love it so please be lenient… HAHA!!!

image and story (c) lexie-chan || eyes2blues

– – –

100 Themes Challenge Writing Prompts: Challenged

 

3 Responses to “Challenged”

  1. It’s been a while! Haha! 🙂
    I enjoyed reading you. Should read the others! ^^
    I don’t know why, but lately I’m so into reading/writing fic. If I could give you an advice; Don’t be to much concerned by others opinion, writing comes from the heart and it fufill a need to express yourself, so the must important is that you like what you write. The appreciation from others is just “the cherry on the cake”. ^^ Have a nice day!

    • HAHA! Awww!!! You’re too sweet! I was shocked that you read this fanfic! Didn’t think you’re into it and the fact that it involved other artists was just really surprising but I appreciate it ❤

      And you're right! I should write for myself and not to please other people. I'm learning not to be as greedy. Thank you so sooooo much!!!! xoxo

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