Articles

Honestly

In Everyday, Life, Personal, Rant on February 1, 2014 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , , , ,

If I’ll be completely honest with myself, I’d say that I do not enjoy my new job.

It’s true that I was quite ecstatic about being an actual ‘graphic artist’ (and earning more compared to my last job). A title I fought for, for so many years. But now that I’m actually on the field, I don’t feel any happiness.

I guess I have a totally different expectations from when I was aiming for it and now that I’m already doing it.

For one, my job doesn’t have the consistency I like. My schedule is weird. I don’t even know exactly the thing I’m working for and stuff. Heck, I don’t even have a fucking computer!

Secondly, they give such unclear and incomplete instructions. Like they would ask you to do something and then in the middle of your work (i had worst where they had to change their mind as soon as I finish several samples already. Ha-ha.), they are going to make a complete turn around and make you do a totally different one.

I know it is my job to comply but I mean, for example, they could’ve given me the logo beforehand. Or they could’ve given me the right size already whatnot before I start on anything. That way, we don’t have to go back and forth, revising stuff. It is time consuming and totally annoying.

Third, since I had a weird hiring process, I suffered greatly because of it. I mean, I’m still the person who didn’t get half of December’s and January’s salary. That’s one and a half months already. And I need money. My mom is going to have an operation for fuck’s sake you know. Ugh.

Tbh, there’s a fourth, a fifth, and a sixth reason why I can’t get myself to like my current work but imma conclude this by saying that even earlier today, The President called me (read: on my DAY OFF no less), yelling at me, insinuating that I did not do my job when as a matter of fact, I did already, DAYS AGO.

I was speechless as he scolded me over the phone. It was the first time somebody ever did that to me! My ghad. I’m glad that at least eventually, the issue was cleared to me by my operational manager.

And here’s the funny part, the problem isn’t even on our side YET, we were wrongfully accused and that’s seriously fucked up and I swear… Imma punch somebody on the face!

Haha.

Unfortunately, as much as I want to quit and look for a better opportunity that could provide me with consistency and a more stable work process (something that can make me happy again), I CAN’T.

Not when I have to save money for mom’s operation soon and not when imma ruin my sister’s name to the President. (Since she’s the one who recommended me and anyway, I didn’t want her to feel guilty for making me quit my old job for this. She didn’t know anything. Neither of us did.)

No, I can’t risk it.

So I guess no matter how shitty my position is right now, I would have to endure. Who knows, maybe it’ll get better. Anyway, I’m just starting out.

At least I’m able to deliver and that’s what’s important. I don’t neglect anything on my end.

So please please please… I hope everything will be alright…

*crosses fingers*

4 Responses to “Honestly”

  1. Hi Lexie, hang in there, I hope next week is better than last week and you get your money and that your mom’s operation is successful.

    • *sigh* it’s been really difficult lately but you’re right. I hope this week gets better. Anyway, I really didn’t have the right to complain when my other sibs have it worst than me. Haha! Maybe coz it’s the first time I’m actually having a hard time at work, I’m being discouraged but it shouldn’t be the case! Haha! Thanks for the support!!!!

  2. Aw you are welcome, just do your best, stay positive and don’t let go of your dreams. You can do it 🙂

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