Articles

Into The New World

In Fandom, Life, Personal, Rant on December 9, 2014 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , , , , ,

I don’t expect anyone to understand but SNSD, unknowingly, has become a huge part of my life.

They were this figure that kept me going and happy when nothing was going right in my life (I knew about them when I was struggling with my nursing). They were… special.

And for the last couple of years, I’ve spent my time watching over them. Loving them, supporting them and I just–

I really can’t explain it and it’s quite bewildering, even to me, how much they are so close to my heart that it came to the point that it hurts me so much to see how that beautiful friendship had to suffer like that when Jessica left the group.

I’m sure nobody wished for this and if there were other means but this unprecedented parting, they would’ve done it already. Only, most unfortunately, they were caught in the inevitable and is now forced to wear a brave face as if this does not have an effect on them because honestly, if we’re all hurting from the break up, I’m sure the girls are suffering a hundred times more than us.

In the end, I’m blabbering all this because it is quite amazing and painful hearing the girls sing Into The New World without Jessica to complete the melody.

You see, at least for me, Into The New World was SNSD’s song. They were born with this song and the song was born with them. It was the perfect beginning for all of them and ultimately, the perfect ending now that we’ve come to this point.

It was just so painful.

The emotion that poured from them when they sang it and perhaps the crumbling feeling inside they couldn’t hide anymore… It was… All sort of emotion was in this song alone.

And I hate hate hate it that while I’m having this rollercoaster feeling inside, nobody can really understand my positiin so I throw myself in a corner instead and wallow silently. Wishing that someday — soon — I’ll be over this, too.

I guess I’m just really waiting for a proper closure. Idk.

But for right now, let me swim in my own pathetic feels. Ghad. Does this feeling suck

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9 Responses to “Into The New World”

  1. So sorry I couldn’t relate to this one 😦 I do hope you feel better soon…

    • Yes ate… I think it’s harder to move on from this coz it’s not a ‘normal’ thing and people can’t understand it right away. But surely, it’ll be all better for all of us :3

  2. IT’S OKAY ATE!!! I UNDERSTAND YOU. As much as you feel now I think I’m feeling likewise. The whole thing got me like WHAT and bawling like a baby IN THE MIDST OF MY EXAMS that I didn’t do very well for the papers that were in those days (especially the ppaer on 1st Oct, right after the incident- one day after?) BUT i couldn’t care less for my exams everything was just BAD BAD BAD and I even lost my voice- as in I totally couldn’t sing or talk properly and it was really very bad cos if you know me enough SINGING IS MY LIFE but I couldn’t do the very thing that keeps my life going (along with snsd which was, broken and um BoA but the snsd issue was just overwhelming). And furthermore, my bday was 2nd Oct IT WAS TOO NEAR TO THE INCIDENT FOR ME TO FEEL HAPPY so I didn’t quite feel very good… Oh and I cried in school in class on 30th Sep. Yeah.

    Sorry for the sudden pouring of my feels but I haven’t been able to talk about it… Yeah.

    I haven’t watched the clip yet but I will now so I might comment again later.

  3. Okay so I went to watched a clip of the Into the New World performance that day. So I cried when they started singing and the feels stopped being overwhelming, but I cried again when they stood in a circle holding hands. And towards the end when they held hands and bowed together I had this knot in my stomach. It was a painful process to watch the clip- everyone had sorrow drawn on their faces. Sunny was really bad… Ohmygoodness I feel so sorry for every single one of them. And Taeyeon who could hit the high notes and sing perfectly even like this…

    Sighs.

    Anyway I’ve seen this set of tweets on twitter from a sica stan about how sica stans feel because some sones have been sidelining sica and shading her because of what she’s done. And I felt very sorry for them too. I mean, I just hope we can all be united together and support all nine of them once again without any separations within the fandom, or sidelining any member be it sica or not. I feel a lot for the nine of them and I really hope and have faith that someday they WILL be united.

    Sighs.

    • It’s… It’s really difficult to move on from this. Honestly, I dont think I’ll ever will unless they show that all of them are talking again. I feel bitter. And I know thats not quite mature but until the feelings come to pass then I can just treat this as a melancholic memory instead of something like a scar.

      Sigh….

      • for me it’s a scar, a scar that might never be able to disappear- after all, scars don’t go away.

        but if it’s Jessica’s dream and happiness to launch B&E, so be it.

        as for ot8, if they were the ones who chose to move on without Jessica such that Jessica can acheive her happiness too, I’ll try my best to move one with them.

        but no matter what we do, Jessica will always be an important part of Girls’ Generation and my heart. it’s hard to move on and I don’t ever want to move on, but if it’s for the best, at the least, I would just want to see all of them happy.

      • I admit that even I can’t quite move on from this yet. And that there’s always a lingering bitterness within me but I could only hope for the best for all of them. And wishing to see them together again soon :3

      • i wish they can reunite and solve their internal problems and whatnot…

      • I wish for this, too… Only time could tell…

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