Where does my Feelings Stand?

In Everyday, Life, Personal, Rant on February 7, 2015 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , ,


I just can’t decide if I (still) genuinely like Sidney or if that maybe I just don’t have any options readily available for me to date, that could at least stop me feeling these feels coz JFC. Whenever I see a picture of him pop out on instagram, especially if totally unexpected (coz his posts are sporadic), it does give my heart a somersault and I’m just not sure if I should just unfollow him and control these unpleasant emotions bubbling inside of me, or to just suck it up coz seriously, it’s such a petty, petty thing to stress over with.

And yet I do… And I just don’t know what to do with myself.

And it doesn’t help the case that I find him really, really adorable still and that seeing his pictures, automatically put a smile on my face until I realize a second later too soon that goddamn lexie… You should really stop putting yourself in this kinda awkward situation where it’s gonna be a no-win for you and I just–


I wish there weren’t any what ifs… y’know?

(And sorry for my failing English… It’s like past 2AM and I just watched The Lizzie Bennet Diaries… and I want my own Mr. Darcy… and okay. My love life just sucks. Wow. I’m embarrassing.)

5 Responses to “Where does my Feelings Stand?”

  1. No! You are not embarrassing. You are just…. emotional! That’s not a bad thing.

  2. Awwww…..Lexie (hugs) Sorry for not remembering who Sidney is (do I know him?) But it sounded like you were once in a place where I was! To end the “what ifs” you know what I did and I do not have any regrets (do you remember?). Getting it off your chest works wonders! It may be awkward for sometime but eventually that goes away as well and it ushers you into that closure that you need enabling you to not only move on, but actually learn from the experience. Regardless of what you choose to do, I hope you know that you can always drop me a message on Line and have a chat. We cannot choose who we love but we can always choose to love ourselves more.

    Who doesn’t want their own Mr. Darcy? 😉

    • Aww… Thank you so much Ate! It sucks that I don’t get to meet a lot of people that’s why all this lingering feelings always goes back to him. But at the same time I cannot help it when we’ve shared a lot of memories together so yeah. What I thought was a fleeting infatuation may as well be a bit more than that. But I know when to pull back when I know I’m being in to deep with this one sidedness so don’t worry. I’ll get over this :3 Thank you for the message!

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