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It’s The Hardest Part

In Everyday,Life,Personal on January 6, 2023 by lexie-chan Tagged: , , , ,

I was minding my own business drying my hair right after I pumped when my sister sent me this short clip about the hardest thing being a mom.

People, especially those people who has never had a kid before, might think that having a baby would give you sleepless nights. Endless chores that just keeps on piling day to day. Or it might be the financial aspect of it, too because having a kid is not cheap.

But believe it or not, none of those are the hardest part of motherhood/parenthood. What I really think as the hardest part about all this (and apparently the point of the video) is how limited my time is with my baby before he grows up and not need me anymore. He’s only 7 months but at the same time, he’s already 7 months! Time flies sooo fast! It really gets me emotional how finite my time is with him and I get teary eyed just thinking about it like right now.

Because of this complicated feeling, it pisses me off when they say that the baby manipulates me/us when he cries and cries and stops as soon as I hold him. Like, wth. First of all, the baby is too young to even know the concept of manipulation. Crying is literally the only way they can communicate their needs. Babies can’t even do anything for themselves. In this stage, they are so dependent on you to accomplish things they can’t do for themselves and honestly, it’s something I don’t mind doing for them. Heck, if it means not struggling, I would’ve quit work just so I can be with him as much as I can.

If it were up to me, I’d like to also sleep with him every night in our bedroom just so we can have even more time together (especially that I’m at work half the day) but I also understand that I need to keep a balance between him and the husband. Because of our unfortunate situation at home, he has no choice but to sleep in the basement. I also know that he wants to spend time with me, too but his condition makes it difficult. That’s why we had to train the baby to sleep in his bedroom as early as possible.

Sigh.

I wish America cared for mothers more. To actually care for them. But nope. They’re just pro birth.

But I’m getting side tracked here. Lol. I guess all I wanna say is that, I really love my baby. Love that I’ve never felt before. I want to spend as much time with him as I can physically can. I rather look back and see my younger self really be there for Baby Andy than be strict and leave him be by himself to promote independence very early on.

I can only hope for the best.