Articles

Bullseye

In Life, Personal, Rant on June 20, 2014 by lexie-chan Tagged: ,

So I’m talking with my friend about relationships and shizzz. All of a sudden, I just blurted out that I started talking to Brian again. You know, the guy I met on OKC. We talked for a long while last year until I just kinda drifted away.

I can’t remember why exactly but I know there were a lot of factors that brought that inevitable parting. Like his vices (I can’t approve of), his overly clingy self and his lack of direction in life (not that I am one to talk but at least I’m working).

I’d say he wasn’t the guy I was looking for in a relationship. That I wanted someone more stable and responsible. (God. I need one seeing as how I am as a person. HAHA!)

Yet, here I am again, talking to him. And fxck. This time, I kinda initiated the conversation when I messages him on LINE. Actually, prior to that, he’s been sending me messages on Facebook already but we never get the chance to really talk especially that I don’t even frequent that site.

Anyway, so I was telling all this to my friend. How I feel so stupid bringing up this stupid thing again when I already moved on and couldn’t care less. I mean, I really don’t have any reasons to talk to him at all but what is this all of a sudden?

So my friend, Louisa, she said something that really made me think. Something that really hit the spot:

 

Why do you think you’re being stupid? If you’re interested, then you’re interested! What’s wrong with that? Or do you think you only like it cuz of the attention? And once you’re over the attention you’ll think he’s too clingy again?

 

Oh ghad. That last statement was just… Oh my god. If all I ever want was an attention I can’t even reciprocate, then I’m just like any other asshole out there. And that’s terrible.

I’m terrible.

 

/dead

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6 Responses to “Bullseye”

  1. Lol… but honestly I’d say that guy isn’t for you HAHAHAHHA

  2. Hi Lexie, Having just got out of a 15 year relationship, the only advice I can give you is don’t settle for somebody that you know isn’t right for you.

    • 15 years! I can’t even sustain a 3-month relationship to be honest (i wish i were kidding).

      But yesh, I refuse to just settle. And it was a mistake that I even contacted him thinking that the situation might have been different now but nope. I guess not… I need to be more level headed… Thank you!!!

      • That was a reminder to myself too, it was the most valuable lesson I learned over that time. It seems like such a simple thing. The best lessons I have learned have always been the most painful. I guess that’s why they stick with you.

      • As long as we learn from them, there’s always gonna be a good beginning afterwards. But I could just imagine your feelings from back then. Let’s just keep striving hard!

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